This is retarded and I was REALLY REALLY bored....Hope it doesn't disappoint.


Victim: hi

StraddleMonster: do you like to do for fun?

StraddleMonster: hi

Victim: 21/m

StraddleMonster: 21/f

StraddleMonster: got a pic?

Victim: not on this computer cause it sucks

StraddleMonster: that sucks ass

Victim: yes it does

StraddleMonster: do you like sucking ass?

Victim: i will, its ok

StraddleMonster: have you ever tossed salad?

Victim: no

StraddleMonster: well are you willing to expirament?

Victim: possible

StraddleMonster: well lets get this party started

StraddleMonster: tell me what you want to do to me

Victim: i want to lick your pussy and fuck the hell out of you

StraddleMonster: mmmm

StraddleMonster: so hot

StraddleMonster: that all?

Victim: i want to do standing 69

StraddleMonster: oooooo

StraddleMonster: ive never done that before

StraddleMonster: i would be all suckin onj your dick so hard

StraddleMonster: making air be all sucking into your ass

StraddleMonster: im like a shop vac!

StraddleMonster: you horny?

Victim: oooo, ha. id be eating your pussy, moving my tongue all over

Victim: yea

StraddleMonster: mmmmm

StraddleMonster: you like my babooshka rubbing on your face?

Victim: oh yea

StraddleMonster: i want to juggle your manly fun bags all in my mouth

StraddleMonster: im rubbing myself

StraddleMonster: i want you in me baby!

Victim: i want to grab and lick your tits as a fuck you

StraddleMonster: mmmmmm

StraddleMonster: grab then

StraddleMonster: prevent them from flopping all over

StraddleMonster: because i bruis easily

StraddleMonster: i want you to piss on my stomach mother fucker

Victim: put your legs over my shoulders

StraddleMonster: ok

StraddleMonster: fuck me cowgirl

StraddleMonster: like a cowgirl i mean

StraddleMonster: talk dirty to me

StraddleMonster: cuss at me i like it

Victim: turn the fuck around so i can nail you from behind

StraddleMonster: oh yeah

StraddleMonster: fuck me mother fucker

StraddleMonster: fuck me with your floppy flacid mini man meat!

StraddleMonster: slap them balls against me

Victim: grab your tits and shoulders and push myself in and out

StraddleMonster: yes

StraddleMonster: im glad you have magical reaching abilities

StraddleMonster: yeah mother fucker YEAH!

StraddleMonster: stick it in my log ride baby!

StraddleMonster: fuckin pee in it!

StraddleMonster: you hard!!!???

Victim: yea

StraddleMonster: im so fucking horny!

StraddleMonster: Jack it off baby!

StraddleMonster: yeah jack me off

StraddleMonster: a little reach around

StraddleMonster: and im jacking you off so hard

StraddleMonster: yeah

Victim: i pee all over you....now suck my dick bitch

StraddleMonster: ok

StraddleMonster: dont call me straddle monster

StraddleMonster: call me peepee monster

StraddleMonster: say that

StraddleMonster: not bitch

StraddleMonster: cuz hen i wont do it!

Victim: suck it harder peepee monster

StraddleMonster: yeah im suckin it

StraddleMonster: HUUUUH

StraddleMonster: HUUUUUUH

StraddleMonster: its going so deep

StraddleMonster: its like an illusion

StraddleMonster: looks so small and harmless

StraddleMonster: like a little mouse

StraddleMonster: but then when it in my mouth its like a pack of bulls running down my throat

StraddleMonster: once i had a carrot in my ass

StraddleMonster: want to stick your carrot in my ass?

Victim: yes

StraddleMonster: ram that baby down my mud pit!

Victim: fuckin your ass hard slaping my balls

StraddleMonster: yeah slap dem bawlz

StraddleMonster: pfffft

StraddleMonster: oops sorry

StraddleMonster: i had mexican earlier

StraddleMonster: what else do you want the peepee monster to do?

Victim: ha. now suck my dick and ill cum all over your face

StraddleMonster: ok

StraddleMonster: suck suck suck

StraddleMonster: im like a fish

StraddleMonster: you ever seen their mouths

StraddleMonster: its like that

StraddleMonster: all suck suck suck

StraddleMonster: sucking so hard

Victim: i come all over your face and rub it around with my dick

StraddleMonster: yeah

StraddleMonster: rub it

StraddleMonster: rub it with your poopie dick

StraddleMonster: you like my scales rubbing against your wangus?

*** straddlemonster wants to directly connect.

*** Victim is now directly connected.

StraddleMonster: im not really a girl

StraddleMonster:

StraddleMonster: IM A GOLDFISH!

StraddleMonster: HAHAHAHA!

StraddleMonster: what will your human friends think now?

StraddleMonster: HUH! HUH!

StraddleMonster: fuckin retard

StraddleMonster: couldnt tell i was a fish

StraddleMonster: pfft

StraddleMonster: what a douche bag!

StraddleMonster: ive had long stringy shits smarter than that

Victim: lol

StraddleMonster: besides im a lesbian fish

StraddleMonster:

StraddleMonster: thats my lover

StraddleMonster: she is quite the looker

Victim: interesting

StraddleMonster: yeah

StraddleMonster: whatre you gunna tell your friends now?

StraddleMonster: when they find out you tried to get off when you were cybering with a fish?

*** Victim direct connection is closed.

Victim: i dont know

StraddleMonster: you sad now?

StraddleMonster: you're quiet

Victim: no

StraddleMonster: now that you know we can never be

Victim: oh well

StraddleMonster: once i had a frog sex me up

StraddleMonster: i still carry his picture in my little fishy wallet

*** straddlemonster wants to directly connect.

*** Victim is now directly connected.

StraddleMonster:

StraddleMonster: he was an excellent lover

StraddleMonster: couldnt tell the difference between his tadpole kids and his sperm

*** Victim direct connection is closed.

StraddleMonster: so i ate them all

Victim: lol

StraddleMonster: was the best ever

StraddleMonster: once i had a crayon in my fishy ass

StraddleMonster: when i was in a scients lab

StraddleMonster: well im horny now

StraddleMonster: any chance you would want to cyber?

Victim: sure fish are great

StraddleMonster: yeah

StraddleMonster: ok so im rubbing my cloaica

StraddleMonster: an i got that little dangling fish hanging out of me

StraddleMonster: you wanna suck that?

Victim: yea

StraddleMonster: ok

StraddleMonster: so while youre sucking that

StraddleMonster: i slap my little fins on your mouth

StraddleMonster: and your balls

StraddleMonster: your mouth and your balls

StraddleMonster: mouth balls

StraddleMonster: mothballs

StraddleMonster: mothballs?

Victim: ha

StraddleMonster: keeps jackets fresh

StraddleMonster: so moths dont get in there

Victim: thats what ive heard

StraddleMonster: and make you stink worse that oprahs ass

StraddleMonster: yeah

StraddleMonster: you know what youre about to hear?

Victim: the fish noise?

StraddleMonster: nope

StraddleMonster: my thunderous fish ass

StraddleMonster: cuz im about to rip ass like its oging out of style

StraddleMonster: gunna soung like 5 jets are flying out of my ass at break neck speeds

StraddleMonster: there isnt a word to describe the way my farts sound

StraddleMonster: so i inented one

StraddleMonster: hamclapper boomton

StraddleMonster: stein

StraddleMonster: boomstonstein

StraddleMonster: laser

StraddleMonster: alpha

StraddleMonster: nut sack grabber

StraddleMonster: wanna suck em

StraddleMonster: yeah

StraddleMonster: you silly shit lickin fool!

StraddleMonster: ok well its been fun

StraddleMonster: i gots to go

StraddleMonster: hope to see you online sometime

Victim: yea, ok, bye

StraddleMonster: love you

StraddleMonster: i love you

Victim: love you to

StraddleMonster: ok

StraddleMonster: weirdo

StraddleMonster: bi bi


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