This is some really weird shit. When he starts talkin is like some crazy psycho stuff... but i make it not so bad by talking about sharting.
Victim: hey
StraddleMonster: hi
Victim: asl
StraddleMonster: 21 f az
StraddleMonster: you?
acest69: 21 m wv
StraddleMonster: whats up?
Victim: hey whats up
Victim: nuttin much you
StraddleMonster: not much
StraddleMonster: whatre you doing right now?
Victim: nuttin
Victim: chatiin wit you
StraddleMonster: fun fun
Victim: you want fun fun
StraddleMonster: define fun fun
StraddleMonster: :D
Victim: what you eman
Victim: haha
StraddleMonster: i like doin freaky stuff
StraddleMonster: hehe
Victim: me to
Victim: hehehehe
StraddleMonster: cool!
Victim: how freaky can you get
StraddleMonster: well you wanna do some really freaky fun stuff
StraddleMonster: as freaky as you want to get
Victim: hell yeah
StraddleMonster: hehe
Victim: you name it
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: whats too far for you?
Victim: anything goes
Victim: hehehe
StraddleMonster: awsome
StraddleMonster: lets get the show on the road
Victim: ready and willing
StraddleMonster: you wanna start?
Victim: you please
StraddleMonster: tell me what youre wearing first
Victim: im in my boxers
StraddleMonster: lets kinda role play
StraddleMonster: ooo
Victim: okie
StraddleMonster: im wearing leather
Victim: ohh i love that
StraddleMonster: with my butt hanging out
StraddleMonster: and tall boots
StraddleMonster: im like 7 feet tall
StraddleMonster: i have a whip
Victim sweeeet
StraddleMonster: and a sword
Victim: beat me baby
StraddleMonster: with the sword or the whip?
Victim: whatever
StraddleMonster: hehe
Victim: i looooooooooooooove dominatrixes
StraddleMonster: i smack your ass with the whip
Victim: you can torture me anytime
StraddleMonster: get on all fours
StraddleMonster: !!!
Victim: yes mam
StraddleMonster: you call me ms.panelope
StraddleMonster: no
StraddleMonster: queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: because im touch on the outside but sweet on the inside
Victim: ohh yess queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: i get onto your back and ride oyu like a rod
StraddleMonster: and i blind fold you
StraddleMonster: you like that?
Victim: lve it
StraddleMonster: and i am paddling you
Victim: queen pineapple
Victim: ohh yeah baby
StraddleMonster: you have to say my name after everythign or you get beat!
StraddleMonster: good boy
Victim: queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: since were just getting started ill go easy
StraddleMonster: but if you mess up further in the game there will be consiquences
Victim: hey lets do this later i have to go fornow ok
Victim: promise
Victim: sorry
StraddleMonster: if its getting too freaky the safety word is school bus
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: but im gunna kick you in the balls
Victim: im sorry id love to be dominated by you
Victim: queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: thats right
StraddleMonster: let me hear you oink like a pig first
StraddleMonster: before you go
Victim: oink oink oink
Victim: anything for you queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: good little pig
Victim: ill be ready for my punishment
Victim: ok bye
StraddleMonster: bye bye
Victim: :-*
StraddleMonster: pigglet
StraddleMonster: xoxo
Victim: queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: you may leave now
StraddleMonster: i grant you permission
Victim: thank youqueen pineapple
StraddleMonster: ok fare thee well
------------------------------------------
he left for like 30 mins then came back
------------------------------------------
Victim: im back my queen
StraddleMonster: oh hello
Victim: im ready now
StraddleMonster: hello
StraddleMonster: where did oyu have to go?
Victim: i had to do my chores
StraddleMonster: oh
StraddleMonster: how old are you/
StraddleMonster: ?
Victim: 21
Victim: remember
StraddleMonster: oh yes i forgot
StraddleMonster: silly me
Victim: so mistress you have a pic
StraddleMonster: im sorry i dont
Victim: dammn
StraddleMonster: i just got a brand new computer
StraddleMonster: im sorry
Victim: well im ready my queen
StraddleMonster: queen what?
Victim: pineapple
StraddleMonster: thats right little pig
Victim: im a masochist queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: oh really...
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: i have just the thing for you
Victim: ohh yeah
Victim: hehehe
StraddleMonster: lay on your back
Victim: yes queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: now spread your legs
Victim: ok
StraddleMonster: and i am going to smack your balls with a ping pong paddle
StraddleMonster: SMACK!
Victim: ohh yeah babye
StraddleMonster: SMACK SMACK SMACK
Victim: i love it my queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: smackin dem nuts
StraddleMonster: ok now for somethign else
StraddleMonster: i rip your shirt off because pigs dont need shirts
StraddleMonster: right piggy?
Victim: yes queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: squeel like a pig
Victim: oiiiiiiiiiiiiink squeaaaaaaaaaaaaaal
StraddleMonster: gooooood little piggy
StraddleMonster: ok i pour honey onto your chest
Victim: yessss
StraddleMonster: and i put a cup of bees on your chest
StraddleMonster: they are stinging you
Victim: ohh do it to me my queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: BZZZZZZZZZ
StraddleMonster: the bees are stinging you
StraddleMonster: i am stepping on your balls
StraddleMonster: and the bees are stinging you
Victim: ouchhhhhhh
StraddleMonster: i stop stepping on your scrotum
StraddleMonster: and i flick the bees off of you with my fingers
StraddleMonster: BZZZZZZZZZT
StraddleMonster: is the noise the make when they fly off of you
Victim: yes my queen
Victim: pineapple
StraddleMonster: ok now stand up we need to get you cleaned off
Victim: ok
StraddleMonster: how do you want to be cleaned?
StraddleMonster: do you have a prefference?
Victim: anyway
StraddleMonster: ok
Victim: your making me so hotttt
StraddleMonster: good
StraddleMonster: i like hot pigs
StraddleMonster: ok since youre a pig ill clean you with this vat of mud i just happen to have
Victim: mmm yessss
StraddleMonster: i keep it in my toilet so noone trys to steal my mud
StraddleMonster: because they think that its poop
StraddleMonster: hehe
Victim: hehe
StraddleMonster: so into the mud you go little pigglet
Victim: mmmmmmm
StraddleMonster: i get some mace and spray it into your eyes!
StraddleMonster: that got the mud off
StraddleMonster: now come over here and sit in this swing thingy
StraddleMonster: i made it myself
StraddleMonster: out of hippo skin
StraddleMonster: and leather
StraddleMonster: its shiny
StraddleMonster: you there?
StraddleMonster: or did the mace kill you?
Victim: yeah im here
StraddleMonster: you like this so far?
Victim: ohh yeah
StraddleMonster: ...
StraddleMonster: queen pineapple bitch
StraddleMonster: stupid fucking pig
StraddleMonster: now come over here
Victim: thyes queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: i pull out my magic want and cast a spell on your penis so now its 3 inches longer
StraddleMonster: now you have a 6 incher
StraddleMonster: now i want you to fuck it back between your legs
Victim: thank you queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: youre welcome
StraddleMonster: now tuck your junk back
StraddleMonster: and tell me what a pretty girl you are
Victim: im a pretty lil girl queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: yes
StraddleMonster: looks like youve got quite the vagina there
StraddleMonster: tell me about your vagina
Victim: thank you queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: youre welcome
StraddleMonster: now tell me about how pretty your vagina is
Victim: its pretty and pink and tight
Victim: my queen
StraddleMonster: good boy
StraddleMonster: pig
StraddleMonster: girl
StraddleMonster: whatever you are
StraddleMonster: now turn around
StraddleMonster: looks like youve got quite the case of hemroids there
Victim: yes my queen
StraddleMonster: im going to paint your hemmroids
StraddleMonster: im going to paint them like a peacocks tail
Victim: ok queen pineapple
StraddleMonster: and i hot clued some peacock feathers to your balls
StraddleMonster: now crouch over and flap your arms like a bird
Victim: oh yeah
StraddleMonster: and arch your back so your feathers stick out
StraddleMonster: and make a peacock noise
Victim: im a peacock my queen
StraddleMonster: make a peacock noise
Victim: squackkkk
StraddleMonster: not a parrot
StraddleMonster: a peacock are you retarded little girl?
StraddleMonster: bitch
StraddleMonster: cunt
StraddleMonster: bitch cunt
Victim: im sorry my queen i dont knowwhat sound they make
StraddleMonster: ok whats your favorate animal?
StraddleMonster: PEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOO PEEEEEEOOOOOOO is a peacock fyi
Victim: peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
StraddleMonster: good little peacock
StraddleMonster: you and your little vagina get an A for effort
StraddleMonster: ok now i pull want you to lay down on the floor
StraddleMonster: you like golden showers?
Victim: yes master queen
Victim: anything
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: then i call 2 buffalos in and start rubbin all up on their nuts
StraddleMonster: and have em make with the peepee
StraddleMonster: oh and i am farting in your mouth
StraddleMonster: little splatters are coming out
StraddleMonster: cuz i ate chili
StraddleMonster: i think a piece of corn hit your eye
StraddleMonster: your eyes bleeding
StraddleMonster: ok the buffalos are gone
StraddleMonster: no more pee
StraddleMonster: now you can have your way with me corn eye man
Victim: ohh yess my queen
StraddleMonster: what do you want to do?
StraddleMonster: hey do you have a pic??
Victim: no
StraddleMonster: i want to see what you look like
StraddleMonster: ok
Victim: whats your email ill send you one
StraddleMonster: send it through here
Victim: it wont let me
StraddleMonster: why?
Victim: see
StraddleMonster: bah
Victim: email
StraddleMonster: ********@hotmail.com
StraddleMonster: email it
Victim: ok
StraddleMonster: then ill let you punch me in the fuckin face cunt bitch!
Victim: i hope yo can handle me im hard core
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: im a gang banger
StraddleMonster: im down with hardcore
acest69: sweeet
StraddleMonster: u send it?
Victim: can you handle pain
StraddleMonster: yeah
Victim: im gonna set the scene in theclass room your an innocent vigin school girl thatjust volunteered for a project
StraddleMonster: ok
Victim: wait im sending it
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: hey ill brb 2 secs
Victim: hurry
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: i got a beer
Victim: sweet
StraddleMonster: has it been sent?
Victim: hold on my queen
Victim: hehe
StraddleMonster: ok
Victim: ok your miss pnieapple
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: have you sent the picture?
Victim: computer is acting up
StraddleMonster: ick
Victim: what
StraddleMonster: sux its acting up
StraddleMonster: if i was there id make that bitch recognize whos boss
StraddleMonster: smack its computer balls
Victim: ahahahahaha
Victim: you tell it baby
StraddleMonster: haha
Victim: ok sent
StraddleMonster: ok
Victim: did ya see
StraddleMonster: gunna look now
StraddleMonster: that a really old photo?
StraddleMonster: looks grainy
Victim: its my college id
StraddleMonster: oh ok
StraddleMonster: you dont look so scary
Victim: it the only one i have
StraddleMonster: its ok
StraddleMonster: ok so lets get on with the fun
Victim: miss pine apple would you come up here please
StraddleMonster: yes...
StraddleMonster: what do i call you?
Victim: professor pain
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: yes professor pain
StraddleMonster: comine up
StraddleMonster: i am walking up to you
Victim: you stand there and the whole classwalks up behind you
Victim: surrounding you
StraddleMonster: ok
Victim: et her
Victim: all kinds of hand grab you
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: someones touching my eye
Victim: we use a broom tied to your legs
Victim: and one across your asms
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: im like jesus
Victim: noooo
StraddleMonster: oops sorry
Victim: just to keep your arms and legs spread apart
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: im not like jesus i meant
StraddleMonster: i feel like doing cartwheels professor peni
StraddleMonster: what are you going to do to me?
Victim: stop right there slaps your face
Victim: just sit there
StraddleMonster: i fart in fear
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: i continue releasing SBD's
Victim: hahaha
Victim: yor making me lagh i cant keep a straight face
StraddleMonster: teehee
StraddleMonster: sorry youll have to excuse me professor pain
StraddleMonster: as you were furer
Victim: isee you like pain well yor gonna lovethis
Victim: i pul a rope out
StraddleMonster: ok
Victim: and wrap around your tits
StraddleMonster: oh no
Victim: tightly bonded
StraddleMonster: not my saggy tits
StraddleMonster: ow
Victim: lol
Victim: thats not it
Victim: we hang you out the window in front of all the people your just hanging there by your tits
StraddleMonster: my tits hurt
Victim: i then use to ropes to pull your legs apart
StraddleMonster: i see soemone i dont like and make a little poop on them
StraddleMonster: PLOOOOOOOOOO
StraddleMonster: plop
Victim: lol
StraddleMonster: ow
StraddleMonster: my legs and tits
Victim: thr s student comes up behind you and and i and feels your clit
(that was the weirdest sentence in the world..."and and i and"...)
Victim: your screaing the whole time
StraddleMonster: you guys fly up behind me you mean
StraddleMonster: since im hanging
StraddleMonster: professor pain the magician
Victim: shut up bitch
Victim: smaaaaaaaack cross the face
StraddleMonster: egad
StraddleMonster: PFFT
Victim: what
StraddleMonster: sbd again im sorry
StraddleMonster: when ever im afraid i guess it happens
StraddleMonster: continue with the flying and smacking
Victim: lol
Victim: this aint working is it
StraddleMonster: yes it is
StraddleMonster: ok now jack me off
Victim: whattt
StraddleMonster: you heared me mr. flying man
StraddleMonster: rub up on my nuts like you want some egg salad
StraddleMonster: suck on my kiwis
StraddleMonster: queen pineapple demands it
Victim: no profesor pain has a better idea
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: want me make some doodoo?
Victim: you think your tough
StraddleMonster: no
StraddleMonster: i only have 1 leg in rl
Victim: lets see if you can handle my fist up your pussy
StraddleMonster: oh yes
StraddleMonster: puppet time
StraddleMonster: i love puppet shows
StraddleMonster: ive been around the block
StraddleMonster: i once had a buick in there
Victim: ill shove both fist in one hole
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: super puppet show?
StraddleMonster: so are we still flying?
Victim: at thesame time hows that
StraddleMonster: magical puppet show in the sky
Victim: no your hanging by your tits
StraddleMonster: sounds amazing
StraddleMonster: oh so only youre flying?
StraddleMonster: im confused
Victim: i give up
StraddleMonster: and what happened to jacking me off
StraddleMonster: queen pineapple demands jacking off
StraddleMonster: if you rub the magic lamp long enough blue cheese comes out
acest69: lol
Victim: yur making me laugh
StraddleMonster: you liek blue cheese?
StraddleMonster: it helps you fly better
Victim: mm yeah
StraddleMonster: you like sbd's?
StraddleMonster: and a little sharting action
StraddleMonster: thats pretty hot huh
Victim: sharting???
StraddleMonster: yeah
StraddleMonster: when you fart a a little shit comes out
StraddleMonster: a shart
Victim: yeah baby
StraddleMonster: good
StraddleMonster: you want some rasinettes?
StraddleMonster: i just sharted them out
Victim: mmmm yummy
StraddleMonster: i know
StraddleMonster: so when i gunna be jacked off mofo?
Victim: i give up
StraddleMonster: PINEAPPLE NEEDS JACKIN OFF!
Victim: only guys get jacked off
Victim: hehe
StraddleMonster: JACK ME OFF!
Victim: ok im jacking you off
StraddleMonster: oh yes
StraddleMonster: thats it
StraddleMonster: rub up my nut sack
Victim: ok
StraddleMonster: hey i have to go
StraddleMonster: i have to put cigarettes out on the neighbors cat
Victim: im confused
StraddleMonster: so am i
StraddleMonster: how the fuck did you fly??
Victim: you are a woman right
Victim: helloo
StraddleMonster: sure
StraddleMonster: witht he biggest clit around
StraddleMonster: and i dunno what the hell those dangling things are
StraddleMonster: the make for some mean camel toe
Victim: what you mean
StraddleMonster: im a stegosaurus
acest69: what you mean
StraddleMonster: im a stegosaurus
StraddleMonster: you know
Victim: stegasaurus????
StraddleMonster: like 4000 pounds
StraddleMonster: spiney plate armour
StraddleMonster: im the only one alive
StraddleMonster: well
StraddleMonster: my neighbor is a trex
StraddleMonster: hes always biting at me
StraddleMonster: but im armoured
StraddleMonster: so he cant kill me
StraddleMonster: plus i have a gun
Victim: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
StraddleMonster: you dont know what a stegasaurus is?
Victim: no
StraddleMonster: sec ill send you a pic
Victim: of you
StraddleMonster: yeah
StraddleMonster: doe
StraddleMonster: whats your email?
Victim: ******@yahoo.com
StraddleMonster: wait here
StraddleMonster: (i sent him a link to this picture)
StraddleMonster: go to that
StraddleMonster: a stegosaurus
StraddleMonster: u see it?
Victim: thats not you
Victim: fuck me baby
StraddleMonster: you couldnt pleasure me im a stegosaurus
StraddleMonster: im like 20 times your size
StraddleMonster: i give birth to 50 pound eggs
Victim: yea well i have a cck that could satisfy a bue whale
StraddleMonster: oh is that what that was
StraddleMonster: i thoguth it was a tail
StraddleMonster: how do you masturbate?
StraddleMonster: stick your dick in a car wash?
Victim: with my mouth
StraddleMonster: wow
StraddleMonster: thats cool
StraddleMonster: i am a stegosaurus and i cant masturbate
StraddleMonster: i dont have arms like a human
StraddleMonster: i have to rely on tree stumps
StraddleMonster: and cars
StraddleMonster: and children
StraddleMonster: i sit on them
StraddleMonster: right now i have a swing set in me
Victim: stop doing that
StraddleMonster: doing what?
StraddleMonster: i am educating you on my species
StraddleMonster: ok ok
StraddleMonster: i lied im not a stegosaurus
StraddleMonster: YOOOOU GOT ME!
StraddleMonster: im a mop
StraddleMonster: i have a huge penis too
StraddleMonster: one that could satisfy another mop
StraddleMonster: but a bigger mop
Victim: bye
StraddleMonster: a mop used for cleaning bit places
StraddleMonster: bi bi
StraddleMonster: i love you
StraddleMonster: come back again we shall play circle jerk
StraddleMonster: i love you
StraddleMonster: bye lover
StraddleMonster: ROOOOOOOOOAR!
Victim: whats circle jerk
StraddleMonster: the trex is saying bye
StraddleMonster: you know
StraddleMonster: when you sit around
StraddleMonster: jack each other off
StraddleMonster: you dont know what stegosaurus' are you dont know what a circle jerk is
StraddleMonster: what do you learn at school
StraddleMonster: probably math or somehting
StraddleMonster: or that reading thing ive heared about
StraddleMonster: i just smash my balls in the refrigirator door
StraddleMonster: and stick M&M's in my peepee hole
Victim: your not really a man are you
StraddleMonster: im as much a man as i am a mammal
StraddleMonster: you do know what a mammal is right
Victim: yesss
Victim: bye
StraddleMonster: i love you
StraddleMonster: hey hey wait
Victim: what
StraddleMonster: i never got to use my sword when we were role playing
StraddleMonster: can i cut a finger off?
Victim: whats your name
StraddleMonster: rosalina
StraddleMonster: rosalinatinfrancisco
StraddleMonster: mariea
StraddleMonster: maria tortilla
StraddleMonster: whats yours?
Victim: bye
StraddleMonster: i know it isnt professor pain
StraddleMonster: i love you
StraddleMonster: lover
Victim: no you dont
StraddleMonster: magical flying man
StraddleMonster: yes i do
StraddleMonster: weve been through so much together
Victim: you ont even know me
StraddleMonster: ive learned so much
StraddleMonster: yes i do
Victim: like what
StraddleMonster: how could you say that
StraddleMonster: like you like being peed on by buffalos
StraddleMonster: and i taught you what a shart was
StraddleMonster: and you are a pretty girl
StraddleMonster: and the best damn animal impersonator ive ever met!
Victim: it was just rping
StraddleMonster: you fooled me then
StraddleMonster: we have fooled each other
StraddleMonster: tooshay
Victim: how you fool me
StraddleMonster: cuz im not really a stegosaurus
StraddleMonster: you silly
Victim: lets play
StraddleMonster: tag youre it!
Victim: im horny
StraddleMonster: i already petted the lizard today
StraddleMonster: i played tug the sausage link a few hours ago
StraddleMonster: best 5 seconds of my life
Victim: im leaving
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: i love you
Victim: yor weird
StraddleMonster: youre weird
StraddleMonster: no no
StraddleMonster: im sorry
StraddleMonster: youre magical
StraddleMonster: hey can you answer me one question before you leave?
Victim: as lon as it aint something stupid
StraddleMonster: how did you fly?
Victim: ye
StraddleMonster: no i have a better one
StraddleMonster: do yuo like hotdogs?
StraddleMonster: more than seafood
Victim: no
StraddleMonster: oh
StraddleMonster: ok
Victim: why
StraddleMonster: just asking
StraddleMonster: ok bye
StraddleMonster: we should compare next time we meet
Victim: compare what
StraddleMonster: our dong;s
Victim: you are a guy
StraddleMonster: no
Victim: yes
StraddleMonster: ok you win
StraddleMonster: i am
StraddleMonster: im a 5 year old slave labor child
StraddleMonster: im forced to work in a sweat shop
Victim: be serious
StraddleMonster: this is my only contact to the outside world
StraddleMonster: i am fuckin serious
StraddleMonster: you have to get me out
StraddleMonster: ok heres the plan
StraddleMonster: ill be on the roof of my building tomorrow night
StraddleMonster: you use your fuckin flying powers and meet me there
StraddleMonster: then we fly away together
Victim: STOOOOOOOOOOOP
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: fine
StraddleMonster: leave me here
StraddleMonster: making 5 cents an hour
Victim: STOP
StraddleMonster: ok
StraddleMonster: this the red light green light game?
Victim: IM IGGING YOU BYE
StraddleMonster: bye bye
Victim: U KNOW WHAT IGGY IS RIGHT
StraddleMonster: huh?
StraddleMonster: iggy pop?
Victim: IMM LEAVING AND IM GONNA BLOCK YOU BYE
StraddleMonster: i love you forever
StraddleMonster: bye bye
Brought to you by halfbraincartoons.com
contactme@halfbraincartoons.com