So I was online minding my own business and this guy IM's me. I guess I bojangled him before cuz he said i was on his buddy list. I checked his profile to see if I could remember him and turns out he's a fuckin wacko. Then again, I was also online trying to telling guys I was a hawt babe.

Hello

hi

Do I know you?

the question is do i know you

Ahh, but I asked first.

wow your profile says youre a wizard vampire
is this true?

Aye.

you suck blood?

Hence the naNocturnus Humanis
Aye.

you cast spells?

That I do.

so im guessing youve never seen women genitals?

See, now there is something that is a cold hard fact...Especially since I am gay.

oh and i see you are a poet

That I am.

you write "Heart and body, mind and soul, " and i think the next part should be, "head and sholders, knees and toes, knees and toes!"
so youre a gay wizard vampire?

Rofl
That I am.
Except its more of a Warlock..

im guessing you only suck the white blood cells?

Nope.
I suck Cum and Blood alike.

youre a very health concious vampire im guessing
with a high protein diet?

Lol. Oh yes, very high in protien.

so whats the difference between a wizard and a warlock?
besides the amount of crazy pills one takes

Warlock knows more Magick then a Wizard.

oh how silly of me

Now, how on earth do I know you?
Do you happen to Chat on IRC?

sorry for not understanding completly because i myself am a dark knight of the fifth chapel
if by IRC you mean a magical tavern run by naked midget women then yes

Lol. Actually I meant mIRC, but I guess a Magical Tavern Run by Naked Midget Women wors too..

fuckin right it does count cockula

Ahh..Hmm..

so do you have pictures of you casting spells?

Hahahaha.

i need proof!

I dont tend to take pictures of myself during my workings...
But if you want proof...then proof you shall have.

ok....so whats that mean?
you do have a picture?

NocturnusHumanis signed off at 10:14:05 PM.

omg you vanished!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NocturnusHumanis signed on at 10:14:44 PM.

wow you vanished

No, my AIM was hating on me
What did you say before I left?

oh i thought that was your teleport spell

Hahahaha
You only wish.

you said i want proof and proof i shall have so i am sitting here pondering what ever thou meant

Unfortunately there is no such spell as a teleportation spell..

for serious?

If there was, however, I wouldnt be sitting here talking to you.
I would be off in Rome killing the new pope.
Fucker looks like a very killable person, doesnt he?

i dont know about all that
wouldnt you want to suck the holy moly out of his hose?

No thanks. He's too old.

oh

Old, Gross, and Holy
Notmy type..

any way wacko jacko wheres the proof of your magic abilitys?

I prefer Young, Good looking, and unholy

me too omg omg

Tell me your name and I shall give you the proof you desire.

my friends call me edward dildo hands

Wow

but you can call me willie

I feel sorry for you

but for really honest my names willie

Well, nice to meet you Willie. Somehow you found your way onto my buddy list..

i know spells too!

You wouldnt happen to remember a SN that was SamhainxMist do you?

so you know spells to make people be your friend and not think youre completly wacko?
omg i DO know that name

You seriously do
?

for serious

Ahh, that is me.

touch blue make it true
touch black take it back....to africa

Interesting..

so tell me of your magical spells
im intreigued by crazy people

First, tell me how you know SamhainxMist

well you see one day i was involved in a circle jerk with hitler then he cast a level 5 fire spell on hitler which he dodged and then he had to quickly cast a blizzard cone blast spell which knocked hitler to the floor and hitlers luger went off and the bullet bounced off the walls and hit hitler in the head and thus ending the cival war and the vikings triumphed and it looked like suacide so we didnt have to sit around for questioning from the pirates
when i say he i am refering to samhainxmist

*dies laughing* Unfortunately...I do not like Hitler...

thats why you killed him with your spells

So I wouldnt be in a Circle Jerk with him..
And I dont kill people.
I'm not entirely cold and heartless

no I was in one with him, you saved my life

Ahh. Well, then I believe you owe me a thanks?

you dont kill people? so you wouldnt kill hitler but you said the pope looks killable?

I said he looks killable
I didnt say I would kill him

no you said he looks fuckable
and you said you want to sodamize him to death

Rofl.

this is no laughing matter

Now, seriously, how the fuck did you happen to find your way onto my buddy list?

we probably had cyber sex

Hmmm
Where, I'll never know..

give me an example of your spells

Also, the fact that I dont do Cyber sex works against your theory.

oh probably the vampire fan club

Hmm...
You know, I would like a Straight answer, as this is very perplexing to me...
I do not remember ever adding you to my buddy list.

haha you said straight....and youre gay....omg GET IT!

*rolls his eyes*

you should be rolling deez
DEEZ NUTS
OH BURN!

Ahem..Not really.
You're just an immature child...
Now let me think to where I met you..

im not a child im 13, im a teenager!
so do you actually suck blood?

Hah.
Yes, I actually do.

from someones neck?

Depends on if they'll let me
Usually I just bite their hand or something

i hear the most potent blood comes from the anus hole

Ahh...You've heard wrong..

wow thats awfully nice of you
so did your dad abuse you?

Actually No.
And I still live with the fucker.

your mom a druggie?
oh so oyu dont like him?

Nope.
And No.

he doesnt approve of your life style of being a vampire wizard warlock who rides the cock?

hmmm
God Damn it all to hell..I cant remember you so I'll just block you and pretend i never saw your SN.

no
dont
i must learn how you cast spells

Then you're asking the wrong person, I'm not into teaching.

please tell me before you teleport away forever

I do not have the patience

what kind of spells do you cast?

All kinds..

omg my dogs licking my feet isnt that CRAAAAAAAAZY?
give me examples

Now if you'll excuse me...I have to pretend that I dont know you.

no but were falling in love
you must have cast a love spell on me

Oh yes, thats it.
I'm so sorry, I must have just said it on accident.
Can you EVER forgive me?

i dont know ive falen so hard

Oh I'm so sorry...I'm not into 13 year olds...
Their dicks are so so so small..
It doesnt do anything for me..

oh did i say 13? i meant 130! IM A VAMPIRE OOOOOOOOO!
how old are you?

17

oh now whos the small cock!
probably a measley 15 inches!

Bah. You? 15 inches? PAH!
Please, my chest hurts too much for me to laugh.
Please stop making me laugh.

does your mouth hurt too much for a tea bag?
i must warn you my nuts weigh roughly 23 pounds

hah

i want you to hum on my scroat like a moter boat!
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

*dies laughing* Poor young naive child..

you missed the T in native

Ahh...No I didnt!! I meant Naive...

you silly mortal
you keep missing the T

Oh I'm dreadfully sorry

its ok youre only 17 youll stop making up words in a few hundred years

Aww, I suppose I'll just have to lick your nuts so you'll forgive me.

yarg now ye be talkin matey

Ahh, now you are a pirate?

start with some nut polishing and then follow it up with a nice swabbing of the poop deck
im 130 years old, im many things
im a blacksmith

Hahaha.

im a ninja
im a boot

A nut polishing then a swabbing of the poop deck?
Oh please stop my dick is raging hard just thinking about it!

yea suck my testicles then lick my crusty butthole
yea your nearly microscopic 15 inch penis
whats it weigh like 3 pounds?

*yawns* You're extremely boring..

have fun pleasing a farm animal NOOBIE!
i dont mean to brag...but...i have sex with planets

That must be very...Sad...
How does that make you feel?

like a man!
while youre face fucking a crater faced manager of mcdonalds ill be fucking crater faced planets

NocturnusHumanis signed off at 10:43:41 PM.

no my lovely
come back for tongue kisses and magma fireball spells