Sex Fundamentalist

Hello neighbor. I'm new to town and wanted to introduce myself,
To make this easier on both of us let me read this poem I wrote from the highest of shelves.

If I was a fruit, I'd be very bitter.
Because I'm tired of being treated like month old kitty litter.
Some days are sad and some days are happy,
But since I'm bi-polar I think all of 'em are crappy.
I like to blame others for all my mistakes,
Then when they're asleep I expose their butts to a little pee pee shake.
They never know what happened until it's too late.
And I'll prove I'm innocent with my nice flacid snake.
Cuz if I don't have a boner, I couldn't have done it.
But they don't know I'm so quick I nut before I've barely begun it.

In the bedroom I'm useless like a hole in a bucket,
Most girls I hook up with are unconscious when they suck it.

Confucius say, where there's a pill there's a way.
Slippin dem shits in drinks is my secret way to getting laid.

I might have mood swings and hit the woman I'm dating,
But at least they're not awake when I'm consummating.

The only reason I date the adult aged women,
Is because I'm not legally allowed to be around children.

I know this is a lot to take in, like a penis to the anus.
But by law I have to some clean as a repeat sex fundamentalist.

Whew! I'm glad that's over as it was hard to pronounce it.
Now I extend my hand so we can begin this beautiful friendship.

Hi, my name is Willie

<3 Willie M.